He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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