so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize