Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
