I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
