Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
wow bdsm is so cute
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