I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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