it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
