If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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