Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
