Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I met the friendliest cop last night
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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