There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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