PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You can't just leave with hair like that
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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