But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
