am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize