I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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