I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
