What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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