If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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