That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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