You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
