Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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