she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
