worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
