You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
