Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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