I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
