K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
