He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
