so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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