Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We have started to decorate penises.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't put those talents on a resume
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
