So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
