you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
