My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
