he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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