last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
