You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's shark week go big or go home
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
