Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize