Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
