i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
