Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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