i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Sext me about skeletons
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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