who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
