i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
