Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
