My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
