He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
