Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The beer is more important than you right now.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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