There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I think your dad took our porno
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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