Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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