ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
