rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
