i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
