I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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