OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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