everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
