STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My pussy is not your playground.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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