Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
