she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
