I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
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