Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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