Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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