It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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