woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
