loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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